In a few days I'll be flying to the San Francisco Zen Center's Green Gulch Farm where I'll be a resident student for a long time. Perhaps many years. At least that's the plan. Who can say for certain. Well, it's all been leading up to this... though, it strikes me as absurd to say so.
Actually, saying anything about anything is really a challenge these days. I've just come off two sesshins and Ango and I'm feeling a little blown out, a bit wispy. Often, when I look at the smoke coming off the incense at the zendo, I feel like I'm looking at the state of my mind. It is not entirely pleasant and I'm wondering if this a natural stage in practice?
I'm rolling with it. The practice continues. And I'm so happy to be participating in Suzuki Roshi's home. Like everyone else, I'm just trying to come home.
And, slowly but surely, I'm giving up on the idea of perfection.
"Things as it is."
PS Tomorrow is December 8th. HAPPY BODHI DAY EVERYBODY!
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